Long Time No See

It have been 12 years since my last post. Yet I am surprised I am still able to find my blogspot back. Hope everyone is faring well so far. 

It has been almost 3 years since COVID-19. I guess lots of things have changed. From the generation we're in all the way till currently Generation Beta.

Most of us are either married or have started their own family. And some of us are like me waiting for the right one. Having to face relatives with their classics questioning of when you're going to marry, when are you getting a gf etc. Hope you'll are having a great holiday for non Chinese and for my Chinese reader Happy CNY to you and your family.

There are so much things that had happened and I do not know where should I starts from,  Based on my last post, 2011 I went to ITE college to studying what I have always been interested since young 'Pastry & Baking'.  I enjoyed the 2 years and met different peoples. Peoples from the East and West. It might be just me but people can behave differently, I was surprised as I wasn't able to click with them. I guess probably during my childhood I have never leave Central area of singapore. Call me a frog in the well so be it, After completing my internship I came to realized that I was just a hobby and interests for me, I don't foresee myself working in the industry for the rest of my life. After my ITE college I worked in Sakae Sushi till my enlistment date for National Service,

When I am enlisted, I got back with my First Love as I witness her unweaving attitude and efforts in wanted to be back with me, I was touched and we spent close to 2 years till things didn't turned out the way we wanted,  We broke up during my overseas training to thailand. To be honest, based on her thinking she expects me to be busy with training that I will forget her. But the reality is that I was not able to concentrate on my training at all, I admit that I cried and loss of appetite, thinking back how silly I am. 1 of the most deeply craved into my memories will be me arriving back to singapore from my training at 2am. after taking taxi back to home it was roughly 3am. I slept for 2 hours and woke up again to prepare myself to meet her and talk things out, Apparently I lost my SIM cards hence I am unable to contact her, so I ended up waiting under her block and send her to work. During the way to work her soon to be bf was waiting for her too, While I sit outside looking at her working and flirting with one another .To be Honest it wasn't bearable. You must be thinking why the hell do I do that upon myself. I can only response with. I guess I was stupid and trying to prove I still mind about her, But Sadly that is not the way to go. I sat for around 4hrs till The mobile store is open so I can get my SIM card replaced. Afterward it is another 4hrs till her mum was here to pick her up. Probably she can't remembered but It was loud and clear that she said to me "Just because my parents favours you doesn't mean You Won". Wow, It stings isn't it? I choose to silently followed her and I can't recalled the rest, 

At last during her 21st Birthday party. Soo much things happened that I will go straight to the point. After she was drunk she told me "How I wish I haven't met you". Let me clarify that she was drunk at that point of time afterward I carried her back to chalet house. [You can interpret which ever way you preferred] but I believe in when drunk the truth comes out. Perhaps she didn't realized it that she says it out loud. that was when my hearts died. Afterward was just a struggling night to get by and once we checked out from chalet. I chose to disappeared from her life, for the better of Me and her.

Looking back I believe I could have done things better, As much as it hurts that She has a change of hearts, I blame myself for not being more caring and loving, If I were to be back I am confident I will be able to remedy my past mistake, Well.. As much we can looked back there is nothing we can do about but learned from it and grows to be a better person. 

Life as an NSF was great too. As physical and mentally draining it can be. As much people whom said NS is a waste of time. To me it's an experience I wouldn't forget and gave it away. To all the people I met during the 2 years. If I were to redo my NSF I would still choose to be in the same company in BMT, same vocation and company as I am right now. Although when I ORD, during to under demand I got separated from my platoon mates. Damn... I truly missed the time I spend with you guys especially during our admin time, we gather together to play bridge, hearts, werewolves, saboteur, so much more. I truly enjoyed it. Although most of you'll are in relationship and perhaps started family. It would unlikely for us to make it work again but nonetheless I will always be in deep in my memories.

For the next 5 years I try to do better and be a better person I am, as compared to the younger me, be it mentally or psychologically. There comes Covid-19 and I believe everyone in the worlds has had a hard times with plans and goals being disrupted.  

Life as an adult is differents. As much as pros and cons. I would say I prefer to be an adult. Although there are things that are unpleasant but I get to have more freedom and decision as compared to being a teenager. Sometimes memories of me being in secondary school, nsf came flashing back, as much as I missed the times, at the end of the day I got to wake up and continue moving forward.

So much to write for the past 12 years. Ups and downs but I get this will be it. I will try to update my blog as frequent as I am able to. Probably I should do some editing for my blog homepage hopefully I am still able to recall how to do it. That will be all. Goodnight folks. See you'll soon!

-Shion

Been grateful my good friend Kaze, for telling me what he heard and never hide from me. Telling me how the girl i like had felt toward me for all this moment... I admit that out of my current life, i never had this kind of feeling before, I can't put it in words... Guess what, i can't even imagine you got to said this words until so harsh... I don't blame you, since i am the one who decide to fall for you. Why is it always the girl you like will never like you, and the girl you don't like will like you? funny isn't it? Kaze told me this, 'Have you ever think about the others? The girls who you don't like you willing to give anything for you, but just because of this girl you love you neglect the other girl or other who is precious to you. You may thought that she is not important to you but, to her, you are very precious to her... ' I cried inside my heart softly... I think over again, what is wrong with me, even the girl who read my blog add the girl i like as friend also tell my classamate that i like her... She may thought she is trying to help me but, she is making me more trouble i never know what had she done. the least i can said, Thank you, I know what i am supposed to do. Time to wake up, stop being so selfish. Get back to my life. I can at least treat her as a friend right? Can't be lover, can be friends right? (laugh) maybe in the first place she just wanted me to be her close friend? Some of the people will think 'Why did you give up so easily? You love her you should continue...' i will replied, 'I will continue love her, but i will just watched over her quietly... If this is what she wanted so be it... Probably the only one who let me felt so painfull like a knife been stabbing through my heart several times, But i still got to said, thank you... for letting me fall for you':)

Thirty to fourty minutes more to the day my school reopen... Today in the afternoon i went out and met my boyfriends. I will put boyfriend 1 & 2 so you wouldn't get confused:). I thought that we are just going to watch movie and had lunch. But when i reach boyfriend 1 house, we were just chatting and playing with my boyfriends 2. After that i heard from my boyfriend 1 that we are joining them for kite flying at marina barrage. I was kind of excited because this is the first time i go out with my friends parent together along with boyfriend 2. So, there's three of us and not including his family:) When we get on to the back of the van, I was like so warm and comforting inside my heart. At the back of the van, we were drinking and i was eating, lying at the back of the van listen to the music together that is so calm, leaving the van door one quater opened so that wind can get in and wouldn't be so hot inside. Looking at my boyfriend 1 guarding the door. I hope we can stay like this forever. going to somewhere else and live on our life, being able to stay by each others side, being able to talk to each other, help each other, being stupid together, risk our life together, quarreling and fighting (For fun) together. I hope that day never ends,. Alright back to my topic, on the way to marina barrage it started to rain, so we had to cancel and go to my boyfriend 1 cousin house. At first boyfriend 2 and me were awkward, after that we got the habit of the surrounding, My boyfriend 1 called us to try his dad cooking, Hmm... Fried sardine. Bread mix with egg and fried and roll it together with the sardine inside the bread! It was additive eating it, after that we went down the block get some fresh air and watched some animes video in my phone. After that we went up and had fried potatoes which looked like exactly like smiling face. Boyfriend 1 had coffee, Boyfriends 2 had water and bali same as me. After lots of chatting, boyfriend 2 got to go home. So we went down and gone inside the car, (Boyfriend 1 brother car) his car have a video which was showing all the kindergraten song even baby song :) Three of us at first wasn't talking but after that we started to sing and then boyfriend 1 started to had some mood and we were figuring out the song why is it so odd, farmer to wife, wife to baby, baby to nurse, nurse to dog, dog to cat, cat to mouse, mouse to cheese, and cheese to the cheese stand. The baby and nurse doesn't link at all so do the nurse to the cat??? and mouse to the cheese? cheese to cheese stand? I guess the cheese is dominating! After bofriend 2 got home, we started to have a bit of private conversation. So roughly that is my day today, school starting in fourteen more minutes!. Good nights/ had a nice day guys!

Hey guys! I am back! Today nothing much happen. Wake up in the morning, watched some anime, follow by having lunch. Around one pass five, I started to do my homework all the way! Got to continue later:( Headache~! Too busy with my homework! So, i wouldn't talk much since i had post about what happen yesterday:) By the time i posted, I was kind of shock that i managed to type quite a long comment:) See you guys tomorrow! Once Again, for Asia! Good Night! and the rest of the country Had a good day^^!

8 April 2011

Sigh... Today is really a bad day for me... I will cut it short as it is too long for me to say out everythings that occurred today. I should be meeting my boyfriend at two past ten, when i done showing and changed my clothes, i confirm with him was it twelve past ten, he told me it was two past ten, and i waited for two hours. when i was about to leave my house an old man stalked me all the way... So, i pretend to answer a called, i said ' Hey! Uncle, are you in police station now? I will be coming over.' That's the time where he disappeared. 'I guess i am safe for now'. When i reached MRT (Subway), I boarded it with my boyfriend  and goes all the way to Woodlands, we came down and we thought of having buffet first, follow by bringing his handphone to the repairing shop, so as we make our way to the buffet restaurant, at that time it was full house, the services crew told us to write down our name and contact number, so when there's a seats for us she will contact us. When we make our way to the reparing shop, it was already closed down. One to two hours of waiting, we started to get tired of waiting, 'Change of plan! we will go to another shop which is locatesd at Jurong Point... He agreed, as we alighted at Jurong East, we can't find the mall, I asked a gentlemen which is working at the MRT(Subway) Station, 'Excuse me Sir, Do you know where's Jurong Point?' he replied 'Yes, It's at Boon Lay.' I was so pissed off that we actually gone to the wrong place. Jurong Point, located at Boon Lay. Why don't it be named as Boon Lay Point?! Wasted my money and times. When we was about to make our way to Boon Lay, My Ez-Link was unable to tap in. I went to asked the gentlemen was was working at the MRT Station, 'Do you mind checking for me what's wrong with my cards?' he told me to go to the ticket office where they will be able to explain to you what's wrong with your cards and he add on, currently they're  on lunch break be back at 3.45pm... I glare at my watch, it was only 3.10pm! Sigh... Got to wait again! As my boyfriends and i went bought a bottle of drink, there's a man walking toward and started spoke lots and lots of words while  keeping shaking our hand and said, what school are you studying at? what religion are you? he gave us a pen which is wrap inside a transparent plastic this is to help the blah... blah... blah... finally he said 'From your heart, how much would you like to give,  two  dollars, four dollars, six dollars, eight dollars, ten dollars.' Keep repeating this words over and over again. In the end we donated four dollars and he said 'Thank you', and walked off. After that my boyfriend told me he felt that he is very rude, keep asking for money, money, money.  I said 'Forget it, let sit down somewhere'. While we were satting down chatting and waiting for the  ticket office to be back from their breaks, there's another women said she losed her atm cards and she doesn't have any money on her now. she asked us can you spare her three dollars and fifty cents? My friend and me kept quiet because, we already reached our limit of tolerance, In my mind, 'Now what?! One after another?' as she walked away angrily , as i helped him to throw the bottle that we drank finish into the bin, once again i saw that man who told as to donate, this times he is targeting for two young ladies, as i sighed and walk off, i told my boyfriend, 'Here he is asking for money from the next target. My boyfriend laughed. When we checked out the pen which in wrap around the transparent plastic there's a paper mention, 'This is not charity it's for supporting internet marketing' Both my boyfriend and me pissed off right away! As the time pass... Finally it is 3.45pm. we queued up and wait for our turn. When it's our turn, I gave my cards to the mdm at the ticket office she said 'Please go to the bus interchange to change your card because it had corrupted.' i replied 'What?! I used it a moment ago'. She replied again, 'Please go to the bus interchange and change your card', Fine... I went to the bus interchange and i wait again... when it reached my turn i asked for change of card, the ladies charge me for five dollars and i just gave it because i need the card to travel, she told me the money you had in your previous card you may collect it at 16 April. I replied 'Alright, thank you'. As i walked toward the MRT i prayed in my heart, please! let everythings around us get better! when we reached Jurong point, We found out it was a phone shop not a repair shop! Argh! Now we wasted our money again! my boyfriend and i can't stand walking around with an empty stomach. 'Let just forget about the buffet! said my boyfriend. I agreed. We had our dinner at Jurong Point ( I wouldn't explain what we had, But it's kind of delicious :)) While we were eating, We discussed about the location we can go. It's at cinelesiure. As we reached somerset, while walked to cinelesiure and we got lost... Somehow we manage to found the place... In the end it was closed down again... I asked my boyfriend 'How many century had this paper been?! ' he replied 'Look at the date, it was yesterday! My dad print out for me!' In my heart, screw this paper! as we make our way back safety, i said 'Finally, the days had gone better compare to the afternoon! When i reached home, I done showering and preparing to turn on my computer, It is not working! i spend around ten minutes to fix this computer, and here i am writing it out for you guys to see. Sigh... What a bad and exhaused day for me!' I will stop here for today! See you guys tomorrow:) Opps... Looked at the time i guess it will be see you guys later:) Had a good rest for Asia? As for the others country had a good  days:) Oh ya! i almost forgot to mention. In the end they didn't phone me at all! Hope that they don't phone me later! See you guys!!!! :)

Afternoon! Today not really lot of things happen. Same person keep sending message to my phone which make me really pissed off. Staying at home, staring at four walls. Bed, computer,cabinet, bookshelf, window, lights, etc... Weather is extremely hot! Even when i am wearing singlet... Listening to music... Falling asleep.. How long can it lasts? If I sleep to much, my parents complain. If I don’t get enough sleep, my parents complain. If I eat too much, my parents complain. If I don’t eat enough, my parents complain. If I’m always in my room, my parents complain. If I go out too much, my parents complain. I CAN’T WIN!! Parents are unbeatable!

 Headache... Headache... Headache...

I am back again! My bad, forgotten about my blog:( School going to reopen soon... Got to cheer up! No matter what i should just keep moving forward! NO POINT REGRETTING! Stay strong even all your friends you been trusting them all this times betray you, leave you, life goes on, It is time to move on to the next chapter of my life:) It's futile to keep begging them if they don't really treat you as friends am i right?  I'll bookmark my blog, so that everyday i'll be able to updated:) Sorry to those who like my blog and i didn't fufill my promise to write everytime:( I apologize. That all for today hope everyone have a great day!

Back! Sorry This few days been working... So mostly can't use computer! House rules...  Never mind about that! Hmm... Let see, Later going to work, maybe work till 10+ or 5+ then later go home shower and rest a while i guess times pass like this. Alright guys, i know today my typing is quite little:( but, just don't know what to talk about ><  I will stop here for today. I will try to update my blog as much as possible ^^ See ya!